I'm not perfect,
neither are you:
"Suck it up buttercup!"

Okay, I have hard time saying things like that, even though there are times I am a bit of an ass. As the little quote says, “I’m not perfect”. The thing of which I have to remind myself is that neither is anyone else. We therefore need to learn how to forgive each other the little, or at least not major, stupid mistakes we make socially.

Those who play the ‘blame and shame’ game tend to forget that ‘what goes around, comes around’. If we cannot see a way to get along when we do or say imperfect things, this world is in trouble. That is not to say that we should not express when something is a problem for us, but that we need to find non-hostile ways to do so, and to apply the ‘principle of charity’ to others (and ourselves).

We also need apply the presumption of ‘good faith’ on the other’s part.Likewise if someone is upset by something we say, and lets us know, then we need to take them seriously and be careful how we reply rather than automatically going on the defensive. Of course the other party’s approach does matter, because, unfortunately in this world there are people who are angry, hurt, or malicious who it might be dangerous to be too willing to accept blame or to forgive.

It’s rather a complicated social dynamic, but I believe the way forward is for each of us to use our best ‘good faith’ effort, and, while protecting ourselves, emphasizing kindness and respect, and a willingness to believe the ‘good faith’ efforts of others.

Easier said than done, but I hope I succeed more often than not.